A slimmer of light can be seen through the dusty blinds. Your tired eyes adjust to the intrusion. The universe enters you through the air you inhale; it’s another day in the world. After time spent re-evaluating life itself, and even more time spent stretching and cracking fatigued limbs, you stand up. Your unfortunate reliance on caffeine carries you to the kitchen where you look through the overwhelming variety of tea and coffee. Decisions, decisions. English Breakfast Tea it is.
After taking that morning trip to the bathroom, and pouring that first cup of hot leaf juice, you’re ready to take on the world. Or…at least… this day. You begrudgingly grab a pen and paper to plan out the many tasks you weren’t able to complete during the week. More dishes, always. Plenty of laundry. Yuck. Groceries, basic cleaning, dinner plans, family time, alone time. Let’s not even get started on the ruefully neglected self-care needs. An exasperated sigh leaves your lips.
Ah yes, it is another day. Perhaps we’ll just take today slowly. You got out of bed, so that’s a start. You fed the cat; another accomplishment. So yeah, there’s plenty to do, but there’s always plenty to do. Lets just get started somewhere simple. You’re going to take some time to sip your tea and flip through a book. It’s going to be a good day. You’re going to do a few loads of laundry, then leave them pitifully unfolded in laundry bins. It’s going to be a good day. You’re going to do a load or two of dishes, and then another after making a sub-par dinner. It’s going to be a good day. You’re going to walk to get the mail, and then ideally walk a bit further. It’s going to be a good day.
You feel hopeful for the day, and yet overwhelmingly pessimistic. You’re not worthy of this life. People have died too soon, others are suffering immensely, and too many have none of the opportunities you do. There are people who couldn’t even dream of having a chance to sip tea in a reasonably clean kitchen. You should be grateful, and happy, and take this opportunity to make an amazing life for yourself and those around you. Don’t be a baby, take life by the balls. You’re pathetic. No! It’s going to be a good day.
Your mind is spiraling as you sit there silently in the kitchen. So quiet yet so, so LOUD. Your list is scribbled down, tea is cold, and the sunlight… where’s the sunlight? A path of endless gray is overhead. In your mind, in your soul. Today… is going to be a good day.